Deep ponderings.

Am I a slave to physics, genetics, and everything else? Is who I am predetermined by a series of interconnected never ending events, that came before me to the point that I interpret as now? Is everything I do my own choice, or just another random reaction from a previous reaction? Was there ever an original action? Am I choosing to write these words, or are there words the result of something else?

Being "Bi-polar" I have come to a conflicting realization. I don't know if I can actually completely communicate this realization into grammar either. It has to do with who I am, and taking it further who we all are. What am I? Who am I? According to the world I am not myself. I was diagnosed as bi polar therefore being bi polar I need to take medication to somehow cancel it out, and be myself. But does popping pills every morning and every afternoon make me my self. Remembering who I was as a kid I didn't need to take anything to keep me happy, or keep me...me.

The last few months I have been in the low cycle of my apparent disorder. Sleeping more, talking less, feeling confused and completely apathetic to all that this world is. So I begin to wonder should I give in and go get some anti depressants from my doctor? Would that make me "normal" again? In moments like these it seams rather desirable. I could be happy. I could be awake more. I could be more social maybe. But would that really be me? Or would that be the me that a society who generalizes everyone and everything wants me to be? Or even better expects me to be!
Is who I am completely a matter of the physics that make up this world? The neuro pathways, and chemicals that make up my brain. Is my consciousness and will within just the result of a matrix of physical matter, that will cease when it finally breaks down? How could my own thoughts be so superficial, when they seam so profound? Is life some sort of joke that I do not understand? Or is that just it. It's all one joke that no one understands, and never will. Society will keep creating a perfect picture, and we will either abide by it or reject it.

And the earth will keep spinning.

Reality is a concept I do not and never will understand.

Why I think the way I do is beyond me
When it comes down to it I think that individuality is subjective to the point that when annalized it becomes completely meaniless. Not only the subjectivity is meaningless but all life. Why I do not know but that is my perception of it. I do not desire, I only want. What I want isn't much. WHere I go from here is unknown but close to predictable. What I write is rediculous and meaningless.
I dont know
I am bored and intoxicated

For the future

Why am I writing? I don't know.

As time flies by and I make an attempt to live a "fulfilled" life I realize I am empty. My mind is an endless void, spiraling infinitely further through this confusing reality. I have no belief and only the awareness of my mortal self. One day I will die. When I die I will either simply stop thinking and my body will be left to decay, or I will continue as a conscious entity somewhere else as my body still is left to decay. I find humor in that. There is something fascinatingly comical about life being so obviously cruel and simple. The choice I make now is to continue on instead of hanging myself from that tree over there. Death is definitely something I think I want to avoid for the next fifty years or so. When I can't hold my poop in, forget where I am all the time, and my body aches to the point that I can't enjoy walking I think I may just off myself. Maybe with a bullet in my brain, maybe a leap from somewhere high, or even better an overdose of my prescription medication. The power of choice. Ultimately I will probably end up taking the traditional road of sedation and bed ridden bliss, until my last breath. Poetically common. Mortal life continuing to be guided by its strongest and most powerful instinct..survival.

The next step is what do I do with all this physical mumbo jumbo for the next fifty or so years. Continue to devise my plan for world domination, wanting that which I cannot have, drinking beer, and smoking poison with my friends of course. The wonders of young adult hood. God save the queen. I need to find a woman.

Peace lol

Ugg

Temporal Time shift
Jurassic mood lift
Elevate your mind
Bring forth a new time
Live long, Stay strong
Fight the demons that dwell within
Sarcasm aint a complete sin
Magnificent reality I perceive
I is the illusion of individuality
complexity and rectify
the revolution will come
And ignored by some
The moment never ceases to amaze
while continuing to recreate
Morph, shift, move, and change
An eternity that is ever so plain
Simplicity is hard to keep
Organized mess completely incomplete
Breaking right down to the street
Equality and oneness I must maintain
I will not be manipulated for personal gain
Travel, explore, and try to understand
There is no God, there is no satin
Unless you speak in metaphorical terms
Then I agree the energies we must learn
Negative is evil, positive is good
Live in between them both you should
Yin yang, pentagram, the cross and belief
Nothing is certain, all is obsolete
Know nothing forever, and love you self
Remember self is all, remember nothing else


That will be all for now.

Another Truth about Iraq in the form of hiphop.

Respect to the artist

Samson's guide to immortality, and acceptance of the ultimate failure.

Immortality is something probably every human being has thought of at least once sometime during their lifetime. I guess it comes with the uncertainty and fear that comes along with the awareness of death...it's strange that we are even aware of something like death. How could something exist and have an awareness of its existence be able to comprehend something that is completely the opposite of itself, its existence. To comprehend or put into words such things is completely impossible so I should just give up now. Immortality is definitely an ideal for the most part, and isn't completely impossible in theory, especially with the world today and the technology we have available.
Let's take for example technology such as the internet. Soon enough we will have created a universe of its own that will be completely self sustaining. As long as this universe doesn't collapse and the earth doesn't cease to exist the internet will last for almost forever. So technically we could actually program an apparatus within the internet that would mimmick the human body but would not have a limited life expectancy. Then once we have created this "body" we could upload our consciousness into this new body just before we die and carry on as a conscious individual within our own self created universe. Robots would be programmed to repair and maintain the systems that keep the internet running in the real world, along with young human beings who haven't passed over to the other side yet. That's one crazy Idea. I am sure the mechanics of uploading our own individual consciousness into a programmed body that would exist in the internet forever is a little more complex then this paragraph but this is the basic idea. Not to mention that their are huge moral and philosophical paradox's and issues surrounding an idea such as this.
Another idea for becoming an immortal individual humanoid being is this. As our technology advances soon we will be able to replicate body parts and organs using all sorts of technology, and just ended transforming ourselves into complete androids which I think is equally cool. As our heart fails we replace it with an artificial one, and as time goes on we create artificial pieces of the brain until our consciousness is completely contained within a mechanical being......Tripppy lol!


Ultimately true immortality is impossible as an individual humanoid being existing within a forever changing universe, even if its a universe within a universe because there unforeseen possibilities that could not be avoided even if we tried. Ultimately I guess the only thing we could do is prolong our selves from ceasing to exist, even if we got lucky and successfully get ourselves from dying for millions and millions of years. Infinity and forever is a concept that is completely impossible to exist as. Because existence itself is something that cannot stand up to something as complex as infinity or forever.....because quite frankly that is one fucking long ass time.

Peace out dreamers.

Absolutely the best documentary I have ever seen.

For anyone with any intellectual capacity.


http://www.surfthechannel.com/watch/documentaries/Understanding_the_Universe/36921/Understanding+the+Universe.html?aid=21352&part=0

Understanding the Universe.



Reminds me of myself and all the wonders that fly through my mind on regular basis!

Enjoy

My first video blog......

I know its not perfect. I made it really quickly. Background music and all.

I am a wizard of the future and I practice my craft through a wand I like to call Technology.

Where I go and what I do with time varies
The words I speak and the lessons I learn carry
Through the moment and concept of time
Reality is a fairy tale with no end in sight

Where do I go from here, what do I do now
Maybe I will flip this universe with a spell
Mastermind, complete subjective interpretation
There's no point or need for investigation

There are no answers or laws to follow
Some pretend there are, they know that they are hollow
So build, create, and revolutionize this void
Keep things interesting with your own martial art and toys

Please keep it peaceful and keep the future in mind
I know it sometimes is a concept that is hard to see shine
But it will if we connect the globe
it will if we don't step out of the positive flow

Can you percieve the energy engulfing this realm
I didn't say see if you failed to comprehend
Absorb it and morph it, step forward and don't look back
The story isn't over and that is that.....


For now..

Peace

For those of you who weren't there.

Canada Day Fireworks in Pickering
Grand Finale

Is it really that simple or are you just confused.

Some like myself come to wonder why half the human beings in the world can't get along with each other. How hard is it to not take offense, to not be upset by trivial nonsense. Maybe take a second to think before you throw a punch verbally or even worse with your fist. Stop and think maybe I have misinterpreted this person's attempt to communicate to me what they are thinking. Now that I think about it I should also wonder why some human beings try to instigate others into aggressive behavior. Regardless of those wonders I venture off into another swirl of consciousness and think that well maybe things are changing. Maybe we are evolving now in the conscious realm instead of the physical. Maybe we are becoming more connected and compassionate and all the hate and violence is slowly subsiding into the past while a new realm of human experience enters into our world view....it's possible, isn't it??

My main issue with the world and some of the people on it is that they allow their primal instincts to take over instead of guiding the future with their consciousness. I cannot seriously believe that it is human nature to desire the suffering of others. Although I admit there are many people out there who seam to have a little case of evil tendencies.....just a little. I still think the basic drive for all life exising is to survive and survive further, not to mention nurture and protect it self from destruction and non survival......unless in rare cases there is a state of phycotic suicidal behaviour, which does happen in desperate moments.

The most ironic thing that passes through my mind right now in this moment is that human beings by nature are greedy creatures. This is more obvious then ironic I know. The ironic part though (and I am completely generalizing here, which I admit is in its own right meaningless but nevertheless) is that all of us our trying to benefit our own greedy existences, and most are only taking for themselves and and not caring about how their actions/choices effect the rest of the world. By acting this way the greediness and selfishness in turn actually ends of making our lives worse.
If one takes only for him/herself to better ones own life but does not take into account the effect they are radiating towards their peers, environment and exterior universe they end up hurting and destroying that which they consume. Which is ironic because they are trying to benefit themselves, but in reality destroying themselves.

I guess through all this gibber jabber my main point for the night is by now hopefully obvious and clear.
I am a conscious individual in a universe/reality which is conscious and full of consciousness. I am a mere piece of it and everything I do in turn effects it through its infinite matrix of interconnectivity. So it is completely one hundred million percent irrational and illogical for me or anyone to be violent or destructive towards anything exterior to our physical apparatus we call body. The reason for this of course is because our bodies are not only us. We are an infinite universe of cause and effect, physics, nature, living organisms, animals, planets, and human beings. And it is all one. We are all one.

Lets keep this in mind while we soar into the future.

Just a ripple

click to enlage...

The magic that surrounds me.

I still maintain that I know that I don't know. I believe I don't believe and I don't believe even that. Existence is a paradox continuiously being explored by all conscious life within it. Non existence haunts all conscious life that exists. Life isn't fair even though all things within it are completely equal. All things are equal because all things are one and infinitely connected in a matrix of infinitly beautiful contradiction. In this equality there is total inequality as well, and that is the parodox of reality. There are no complaints from this conscious vessel I call me. Sure things become frustrating but no one ever said it was easy to survive. All that matters is the balance I must maintain. If we can all continue to work in harmony and maintain a balance, as this ball continues rotating, we will be able to spend many more nights gazing upon the stars in total amazement and realize......that I am. I am aware and conscious. My awareness and consciousness can grow above and beyond these stars if I choose to guide it. I choose. I am one. It is beautiful at times and the complete opposite too, but one thing is for sure......words cannot truly communicate the power, the complexity, and the beauty of this amazing parodox we call reality.

You can only accept it for what it is and join me and everyone else in this ride.

Peace,

Samson

To be or not to be is not only the question but the constant choice we make.

Making a choice right now. And now. And Now. With those choices I have made an infinite ammount of choices in between as well. Which brings me to my next point, and I know I never reallly had a major point to begin with but that is besides the point. Time travel is impossible. Because there is no way to accurately meassure moments. What is a moment anyways. A moment is now, and now, and now, and so on. But even that is not an accurate dipiction of what a moment actually is. A moment consists of not only my perception of reality, which is extremely limited when you are trying to encompass the whole picture here. A moment is like a small fragment of reality, and reality is constantly changing. Why does this make time travel impossible...I think it is ultimately impossible because time is merely a concept for keeping track of our own individual human experiences, time is merely an idea....too keep this rant short. Not only is it that, but if time travel were possible anywhere or anytime in reality, reality itself would crumble into a destuctive parodox. Maybe my point is that if you ever see someone materialize from thin air and say he/she is a time traveller you must kick him or her in the croch region as hard as possible and call them an asshole for trying to fuck up reality.

I really got lost with this kind of stuff. Star Trek is awesome and time travel is a cool concept but it pisses me off because it can't happen. I dare someone to try and prove me wrong!!!

It's basically a concept that messes with our other concepts.
WE ARE ALL RETARTED!!

BYE

Qestions entering my mind, with answers never to be found.

Distracted, not interested, apathetic maybe? This is the life I lead. It would be nice to become involved in something, but it's hard to become involved in something when nothing seams interesting enough. What a waste of space some of these words are. I wish I could write something important, meaningfull, and significant; something completely selfless, something unique. Not having a plan, structure, subject or even a topic to follow doesn't help. So how does one begin? Where does one begin?

Trying to analyze and decypher the information my sensory peception is processing constantly, is completely dull and unsatisfying. It appears as if all these manifestations of energy are flowing endlessly with no signs of creation or complete anihilation. As a whole everything appears to be in a constant state of pure being, a never ending forever changing being. That is one way of describing it but there are many other different perspectives in this state of being, quite possibly an infinite number. One thing that I am certain of is that although this whole reality is constantly transforming, it consistently maintains a predictible structure. Experience leaves me observing patterns and routines that seam almost essential for sustaining the current status quo. I (What ever that means) appear to be another part of this quo. A being aware of it's absurd existence not knowing what exactly to do with it's awareness is where I am at right now.
Survive to Survive I think that may just be the only point to everything. I think that is a very profound point. But what do I know?
Why does all this exist opposed to nothing at all? This question alone should put anyone's mind into an unknowing trance. I really don't think there is an answer. I think questioning is a futile excercise because it only leads to more unknowns. Although it is completely futile in the long run I think it does develope our and/or my understanding further.

I'm cutting it short here. Just a little more creative writing.